Two Sentence Stories

Every few days I check the moral measure.
I’m sure we’ll get to “Evil” one day little buddy.

Na na naaa na naa naanann na naaaa.
Still just great back-up lyrics.

I am the order sorter.
You are the chaotic jigsaw box.

I suggest we call it “Losergate” but no one listened.
Fine, call it “the annual board meeting” it you want, losers.

Charles crawled along the rug, but just could not make it to the door.
“Charles looks much better on the rug than out the door,” thought Olivia.

This post was submitted by Jimmy K.

If you turn around really really quickly you might be lucky enough to see the words floating behind you.
If they say “totally fucked” well, you know.

Close the toilet door and close your mouth.
I don’t want to see you piss and I don’t want to hear you talk shit, darling.

gsdfg

This post was submitted by asdf.

When I wrote to you and told you about that dream I had with you, I didn’t mention that we were having sex.
I have no idea why I dreamt that, but it was fricken hot and now I’m wondering …

I can finally feel my forgiveness for you growing!
It should be ready to blossom about two days after you die.

God bless your vagina and your tongue and your ass and the way you swallow.
Thank you God for creating hot wet places for me to stick my dick!

True love is putting someone else’s happiness above your own.
Wake up and see me.

This post was submitted by Kit London.

Before I met you, I always wanted to see the years beyond our lives, yet since you’ve come into view I know we must go forward, never ceasing, together.

One life is not enough, but I wonder if I’ll still be asking for another two thousand years in two thousand years from today.

This post was submitted by Martin T. Ingham.

They called her the town bike.
Why, exactly?

Yesterday, I made a foot print moon walking. Today I realized I could die due to lack of oxygen like Michael Jackson.

This post was submitted by calandhobbes.

I don’t need a full body scan at the airport. Never believe in a higher power.

This post was submitted by calandhobbes.

Some consumers are ahead of modern times because time is money and there in a hurry, living in the present, fast food, 100 mph, overtime, no sleep, open 24 hours, instant remedies, rapid eye movement, head rush, express mail, new version, today’s forecast is heavy snow and freezing rain, bullets whizzing by, late breaking news and the president is speaking to an entire nation. Some consumers want the product here and now, only to grow old and then have the nerve to say that life has passed by them too fast.

This post was submitted by calandhobbes.

I want the extended stay with a free continental breakfast so I take the extended release pill before sleeping. I dreaming with bright ideas as the flies hit the neon sign causing zapping noises and the light bulbs illuminate the words Vacant.

This post was submitted by calandhobbes.

The rockstar was born eleven days after I was.
I should probably stop measuring myself against him if I ever want to be happy.

Her teeth glowed so bright I had to wear an eye mask to bed.
That is a really good toothpaste.