We made the biscuits and shipped them off to those poor kids overseas.
We made love and thought highly of ourselves.
Category: Two Sentence Stories
Cake
Your God-cake is not bad.
“Every slice is a trip to Heaven” is a little bit too much though.
Naked
I didn’t lie to my wife about the night out.
I mean, they’re not really strippers if they arrive naked, right?
Timing
I rang a share house once to see if the room was still available.
Three years later when I met the girl who would become my wife she turned out to be the girl who said “sorry it got taken over the weekend”.
Kidnap
Kidnap the dog and dye it red.
Do this for me.
Neighbour
I give you feeble excuses not because I fear the truth would destroy you, but because I fear it would destroy me.
Or maybe it would destroy the neighbour, I don’t know.
Clockwork
My clockwork wife and I are pretty happy.
We do wind each other up occasionally.
Love me
I understand completely that you love me.
But do you obsessively write about me in little notebooks that will be found after your death?
Dreams
Do you have those dreams that last all night?
It’s a present for … a friend.
Holiday
I went to the pier today.
It reminded me of Perth, of sun, of love, of food, of champagne, of sex, of falafel, and of you, asleep with damp hair, mid-afternoon.
Conquer
I have conquered the world.
Now only you remain.
Reply
You think our last conversation took place on your bed when we both agreed to “end it”.
It actually took place three weeks earlier when I said I loved you and you hesitated with your reply.
Novel
I’ve lashed myself to my creeping behemoth of a novel.
It gets finished, or it dies, along with me.
Gandhi
Me and Gandhi are quite alike you know.
We both dug the chicks, for starters.
Model
I was an ear model but I quit.
It’s all politics.
Girl
My girl’s skin is so pink and soft.
I wonder how I can get it off?
Twinge
I used to have dreams, hopes, feelings, and morals.
Now I have a really nice car, a house, a wife, and the occasional twinge of guilt.
Work
I get paid.
I get laid.
Marketing girl again
You hear that buzzing sound?
It’s the dark cracking void where your soul used to be you fucking marketing sellout shit.
Machines
We built the machines and sent them off to fight for us.
The machines met, got along really well and now keep saying things that are getting quite worrying.