Two Sentence Stories

You love me for my sincerity, honesty and good moral values.
I wish you loved me for my huge cock and dirty fucking.

I toned down what I really thought so you’d go out with me.
Marxism vs Sex – you know what people will always choose, right?

When I wrote to you and told you about that dream I had with you, I didn’t mention that we were having sex.
I have no idea why I dreamt that, but it was fricken hot and now I’m wondering …

God bless your vagina and your tongue and your ass and the way you swallow.
Thank you God for creating hot wet places for me to stick my dick!

They called her the town bike.
Why, exactly?

Hey babe, let’s go home and do a little meat-packing.
I’ll bring the meat.

Let’s all chant it, because it is so true!
Hip-hip-hooray for sex!

Sometimes I look at you and I just want to fuck you raw.
Oh, America, you dirty little tramp, you love it.

Hey web-stalkers!
Thanks for stopping on by, and thanks for the sex/job/emotional support or whatever else it was you gave.

Taking the babysitter into the garage.
A good memory.

Here pussy puss puss.
Calling out at the nightclub.

You are the apple of my eye.
Perhaps it is time to … peel?

We used to have some wicked kinky sex.
Then I got to know you and got all embarrassed.

So what if I equate love with sex?
You equate love with fucking birthday presents.

Sex didn’t ruin our friendship.
It changed it into something strange but lovable.

The younger me wouldn’t believe my stories of real life.
Yes, I really did bonk a girl on the head with her own vibrator once.

After I slept with you my whole life suddenly made sense.
The only worthy pursuit in life is access to vagina!

I’ve reached the age where all the unmarried girls around me are really starting to get desperate.
You’d be amazed of all the slutty things they do.

Your offer of a special eight-month infatuation package with free extras such as wild sex at the start but none later and crying really late at night is quite intriguing.
Throw in a free t-shirt and some affection coupons I’ll never redeem and you got yourself a deal.

I’d like you to wear my bunny suit.
Not for sex, just for fun.