Two Sentence Stories

Little blond me appeared in a flash and wanted to know what the fuck was going on.
Answering to yourself from the past is far harder than you’d think.

No one believed seven-year-old Scotty Schmekmeier, that kindly old Dr. Krappendorf was in reality an evil son of a bitch who visited unspeakable horrors on the children of Phfiffenburg. No one did, until a search for the missing doctor revealed the contents of his root cellar, and what was stored in those dozens of jars [...]

The Airline says to secure the airbag on yourself before your children. The Airline was wrong.

This post was submitted by Jacob Soiffer.

I’m going to lie to my kids and tell them there are many worthwhile things in life apart from drinking.
And then I’m going to have another drink, hooray!

Sometimes I think the only point of us being together was for me to give you a word and a little game that you’ll play with your kids.
And that will be the only thing I contribute to the world.

My nieces loved the bit in Hotel for Dogs where Lisa Kudrow falls in deep do do. Otherwise it was crap.

This post was submitted by A. Bridge.

All the dead pets of the world frolic in the afterlife with all the dead children.
It makes me happy to know my brother and Blackie aren’t alone.

The kids you raise may one day choose your nursing home.
That is why I deserve an iPod for my birthday.

Writing children’s books was beautiful and I loved it.
I fear I peaked too soon.