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Posts Tagged ‘work’

  1. Cubicle

    October 11, 2009 by Mathew Ferguson

    Welcome to corporate slavery and meaningless drudgery.
    Oh, I mean welcome to your cubicle.

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    Rating: 5.8/10 (5 votes cast)

  2. Money

    September 16, 2009 by Mathew Ferguson

    If only we could teach teenage boys that the amount of hot pussy they can get is directly proportional to the amount of money they have.
    Within a generation we’d have some of the hardest working motherfuckers in the world.

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    Rating: 5.8/10 (4 votes cast)

  3. Work

    August 27, 2009 by Mathew Ferguson

    The amount you are paying me by the hour isn’t enough to make me forget that I am trading away something irreplaceable.
    Lucky for you I don’t have anything better to do right now.

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    Rating: 4.5/10 (4 votes cast)

  4. Performance

    August 18, 2009 by Mathew Ferguson

    They said they expected high performance.
    Sure, I can steal stuff off Wikipedia better than anyone I know.

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    Rating: 6.5/10 (4 votes cast)

  5. Same

    August 17, 2009 by Mathew Ferguson

    Blind rituals, archaic strictures and useless rules.
    Work, religion, love, it’s all the same.

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    Rating: 3.5/10 (4 votes cast)

  6. Weekend

    August 17, 2009 by Mathew Ferguson

    Tomorrow at work they’ll ask me what I did on the weekend and I’ll lie and say “you know, just had a bit of fun” or something like that.
    The truth is that on the weekend I mocked a few religions, declared a meal “the worst I’ve eaten” though it wasn’t, slept alone, and relaxed my hands on the wheel in yet another reckless game so the car strayed just a little onto the gravel.

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    Rating: 8.8/10 (5 votes cast)

  7. Goals

    August 17, 2009 by Mathew Ferguson

    A company would fire you without hesitation if it were good for business.
    That is why we don’t tell companies our true goals.

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    Rating: 10.0/10 (1 vote cast)

  8. Retirement

    August 15, 2009 by Mathew Ferguson

    When you said “attention everyone” I thought for a second you would actually say something interesting.
    Like about how the guy leaving was a horrible person to work with, an insufferable bore and many of us there would happily kill him if we thought we could get away with it.

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    Rating: 9.3/10 (4 votes cast)

  9. Clench

    August 15, 2009 by Mathew Ferguson

    The clench of fear can hit anytime.
    Mine hit about four minutes before I quit my second job.

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    Rating: 3.0/10 (2 votes cast)

  10. Work

    August 14, 2009 by Mathew Ferguson

    Garlic, wooden stakes, holy water, crucifix, silver bullets, horseshoes and a blessed bible and I’m off to work!
    Corporate mergers and acquisitions mostly.

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    Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

  11. It ages you

    August 14, 2009 by Mathew Ferguson

    I really can’t pinpoint the moment I went from being young and fun to being old and sour.
    Sometime after I started my first serious job and somewhere between the third and tenth time I had to sell out everything I believed in is my best guess.

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    Rating: 8.0/10 (1 vote cast)

  12. Puppet

    August 14, 2009 by Mathew Ferguson

    You can be a puppet with strings or a puppet with a hand up your ass.
    Things they never tell you about adult working life.

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    Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)