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Posts Tagged ‘date’

  1. The Date

    November 1, 2014 by AKieltyka

    Two teenagers on a date decide to pull over into a parking lot and snack on a few sliders and pops after a night at the movie theater when the young man has the urge to smoke a cigarette. The young man, standing a couple meters away notices a dark silhouette that is quickly zig zagging his way through the trees; feeling uneasy, the boy runs to the car, puts the key in the ignition and looks to his right only to find a man sitting where his girlfriends should be.

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    Rating: 2.8/10 (12 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by AKieltyka.

  2. Keeping Up Appearances

    September 24, 2012 by Evert Asberg

    “You keep on your sunglasses, your colors do not match, you walk like a wimp. I regret I responded to your ad.”
    “Honestly, I’m blind.”

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    Rating: 9.0/10 (44 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Evert Asberg.

  3. Bad Move

    December 30, 2011 by Mathew Ferguson

    On their first and only date, he tried to compliment her, “I wish I’d met you twenty-five years ago, because, you know, you’re pretty now and all; but you probably could’ve stopped traffic then.”

    She narrowed her eyes and cocked her head to the side as if examining him and then replied, “I can’t tell about you—were you ever attractive?”

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    Rating: 8.8/10 (22 votes cast)

  4. Consolation

    November 1, 2011 by Mathew Ferguson

    I used to fantasize that Zach would go on “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” get made over for me, and ask over the special dinner Ted taught him to make if I can ever forgive him for having been so stupid as to turn me down, he was just scared, et cetera, and now he’s realized his mistake and agonized over it, and will I give him a second chance?

    Sometimes I would say no and sometimes yes, but invariably, all the Queer Eye guys gasped while watching the clip when I came on the screen and each exclaimed, “Oh she’s delightful,” then another “delicious,” and another “de-lovely!”

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    Rating: 3.6/10 (9 votes cast)

  5. Ill-fated Romance

    October 24, 2011 by Mathew Ferguson

    He called to ask her out on Valentine’s and, after some hesitancy said: “Do you believe in poetry?”

    She said, “I don’t believe in much of anything,” but she ended up going to the reading downtown with him anyway.

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    Rating: 7.0/10 (10 votes cast)

  6. Tape

    August 19, 2009 by Angel Zapata

    After a wonderful first date with Brad, Gloria comes home elated. “I think he’s someone I can be myself with,” she whispers aloud, carefully peeling away the tape holding her penis in place.

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    Rating: 6.3/10 (7 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Angel Zapata.

  7. Religious Compatibility

    August 14, 2009 by Angel Zapata

    On their first date, she’s curious to know if he’s a man who prays. “Only on the weak,” he says.

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    Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Angel Zapata.

  8. Flashback

    August 13, 2009 by Mathew Ferguson

    Isn’t it strange how situations can occur that flash us right back to an earlier experience?
    Just yesterday I was trying to fit a tiny cowboy hat on a distinctly unimpressed goldfish and I suddenly thought of our first date.

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    Rating: 10.0/10 (1 vote cast)

  9. Monster

    August 10, 2009 by Mathew Ferguson

    The first date of 2008 went really well.
    We talked and laughed and the monster under the bed kept quiet because he is scared of girls.

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    Rating: 6.0/10 (1 vote cast)

  10. Date

    August 9, 2009 by Mathew Ferguson

    Later I realised I could have read out fortune cookies and you still would have thought we were having a conversation.
    Looking forward to the next date!

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    Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast)