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Posts Tagged ‘crazy’

  1. Hospital

    November 6, 2015 by Lace

    An old lady asked me for the quickest way to get to the hospital.

    So I pushed her under a bus.

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    Rating: 7.5/10 (71 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Lace.

  2. Crazy

    August 25, 2015 by Lace

    My daughter is better this way, and now she has company and better things in her future. Yes, telling lies to get her put in the mental asylum was the right thing to do; that’ll teach that brat to call me crazy.

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    Rating: 5.5/10 (68 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Lace.

  3. Voices

    June 15, 2015 by Anonymous

    My doctor says the voices that I hear are all in my head. How did he get in?

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    Rating: 7.1/10 (12 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Anonymous.

  4. Sniper

    August 17, 2013 by Bret Fowler

    Sometimes I go to the roof if my building with a sniper rifle and target people. That’s enough for me . . . for now.

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    Rating: 6.3/10 (26 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Bret Fowler.

  5. Crazy

    November 5, 2011 by Mathew Ferguson

    She read that Nietzsche went insane and clutched the neck of a horse being mercilessly flogged by an irate coach driver. She could never understand why it was Nietzsche and not the coach driver who got hauled off to the asylum.

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    Rating: 7.5/10 (13 votes cast)

  6. Damn Flamingos…

    December 2, 2010 by Dave Marr

    I watched this document on exotic birds, and for some reason the flamingos really struck my nature, particulary the Andean flamingo; I voyaged down to the High Andes of Chile, only to witness a beautiful flock of these majestic birds, and by the power of Thor, one flew within literally arms reach of me and exclaims, “Sir, you must pay close extremely close attention, before everyo-,” he stares prominently at my nose, then demands, “…are you Jewish?” I dumbfoundedly replied, “… well, yes, what does tha-,” before i even finished, damn bird scampered…racist bastards.

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    Rating: 5.4/10 (8 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Dave Marr.

  7. Schizo? Really?

    April 15, 2010 by Cloaked Stranger

    The demon was sticking its tongue at me, taunting and prodding, so I grabbed hold of his neck and strangled until his eyes bulged from his sockets and his tongue lolled, still and silent. Then it was just a baby and I wondered what happened to my meds.

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    Rating: 5.1/10 (11 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Cloaked Stranger.

  8. the worst critic, i project onto you

    March 9, 2010 by somegirl

    i heard the lock in the door and realized the only judgment i should let matter should be mine. judging even the previous sentence, i drive myself crazy.

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    Rating: 2.8/10 (4 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by somegirl.

  9. Cousin

    August 15, 2009 by Mathew Ferguson

    Oh, Cousin Junkie, you and your crazy exploits!
    Stealing all of Grandma’s rings while we were at her funeral – classic Cousin Junkie!

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    Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

  10. Crazy

    August 15, 2009 by Mathew Ferguson

    I recall that you asked me if you went crazy would I still like you.
    I said yes, but then I found out it was a line from a song, so no.

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    Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast)

  11. Beliefs

    July 8, 2009 by Mathew Ferguson

    If your parents are crazy and bad then you are crazy and bad.
    Something I used to believe.

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    Rating: 6.0/10 (1 vote cast)