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Posts Tagged ‘cats’

  1. Whispers

    October 21, 2013 by Steve Karmazenuk

    I broke into the old building’s basement to get out of the cold in and rain; a voice in the dark whispered “Get out.”

    And I hissed back, “Make me.”

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    Rating: 7.1/10 (34 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Steve Karmazenuk.


  2. Hard Target

    October 13, 2013 by Steve Karmazenuk

    They gave me the wrong package when I left the cleaners.

    I only realized after I’d opened it up to find my picture and a hit sheet with my name and home address.

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    Rating: 5.7/10 (19 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Steve Karmazenuk.


  3. Livin’ La Vida

    October 12, 2013 by Steve Karmazenuk

    It isn’t so much that I always wake up with a hangover and blacked out from a hard night of drinks and drugs that bothers me.

    It’s that I always wake up.

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    Rating: 5.7/10 (19 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Steve Karmazenuk.


  4. Mindhostservices.com

    September 23, 2013 by Steve Karmazenuk

    The only thing that you’re aware of are these words in your field of vision; this will change as soon as you’ve acclimatized.

    The upload was a success; your body died as your consciousness was transferred online.

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    Rating: 8.4/10 (19 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Steve Karmazenuk.


  5. September 22, 2013 by Steve Karmazenuk

    I tried to sell my soul to the Devil once.

    He told my my asking price was too high.

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    Rating: 6.8/10 (41 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Steve Karmazenuk.


  6. Bad Seed

    September 21, 2013 by Graham Land

    In order to stop my four-year-old son from swearing, I told him that with every curse a fluffy kitten dies. Our back garden is now littered with tiny graves, but the boy has got to learn about consequences.

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    Rating: 7.5/10 (45 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Graham Land.


  7. ?

    June 27, 2013 by ymous

    She said, ‘No.’

    I didn’t care.

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    Rating: 4.3/10 (19 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by ymous.


  8. Open Window

    September 20, 2012 by Acquanetta M. Sproule

    The Undertaker sprinkled the cadavers with cat-nip.

    Then, pocketing her customers’ generous fees, took a permanent vacation.

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    Rating: 6.3/10 (3 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Acquanetta M. Sproule.


  9. Chelsea, Tabitha, and Mrs. Renfrew

    May 7, 2012 by Mardibug

    “I’ll never be married,” mused the middle-aged woman as she sipped on free champagne and watched with shameful bitterness as a toddler in a tuxedo chased a group of newborn ducks. “I’m going to become one of those angry spinsters who’s mean to children and gives her cats people names.”

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    Rating: 6.2/10 (9 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Mardibug.


  10. It’s all fun and games until you’re partially eaten by housecats

    March 26, 2012 by Mardibug

    Danny thought it was hilarious to joke that his cat Michael Myers had not eaten for a week. He found it less funny when Michael Myers ate most of his forehead later that day.

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    Rating: 6.9/10 (8 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Mardibug.


  11. Cat Sitting

    August 18, 2009 by Sheryl Letzgus McGinnis

    She didn’t like going to her neighbor’s house, 3 doors down, because there were no streetlights with the trees casting a frightening shadow under the moon’s light, and it was always deathly silent on their street, but they had asked her to feed their cats while they were gone for two days, so with trepidation she approached the door, only to hear a sudden, terrifyingly, booming roar, followed by vicious growling, a man’s commanding voice, and bright lights flashing in the bedroom.

    After she recovered from her shock, and still clutching her chest where her heart would be if it hadn’t fallen down to her stomach, she remembered that they leave Animal Planet on the television for their cats!

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    Rating: 2.0/10 (2 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Sheryl Letzgus McGinnis.


  12. July 7, 2009 by Amanda Peel

    To have the untamable curiosity of a cat would offer a life so compelling. All of the humdrum, commonplace things turn entrancing and the daily grind is now intriguing.

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    Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Amanda Peel.