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Posts Tagged ‘cats’

  1. My roommate’s cats

    June 19, 2015 by Morrie Wimple

    My roommate’s cat, Mittens, loves to catch things—for example, this morning I tossed her the toaster, and she caught it easily; then I tossed her the blender, and… well… she caught that too; then I tossed her the microwave (quick note to self—replace microwave with lookalike) and she caught that (second quick note to self—replace cat with lookalike). Mittens, my roommate’s cat, now sleeps the eternal sleep in the back garden under the shade of the old elm tree where she loved to climb and play, with Whiskers and Tabby and Snowball and all the rest of the talented cats that came before her.

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    Rating: 4.7/10 (3 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Morrie Wimple.


  2. Dead parents awaken

    April 30, 2015 by Sheadan wood

    My parents won’t stop yelling at each other in the middle of the night. I visit their grave to ask them to stop but it doesn’t help.

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    Rating: 4.8/10 (13 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Sheadan wood.


  3. Dead parents awaken.

    April 30, 2015 by Sheadan wood

    My parents won’t stop yelling at each other in the middle of the night. I visit their grave to ask them to stop but it doesn’t help.

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    Rating: 5.1/10 (7 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Sheadan wood.


  4. The Lost Things

    March 16, 2015 by OldRecord21

    The cat came out of it’s hiding place, where it waited, perched on the bookshelf; waiting for it’s owner to take that one book from the shelf, so the cat could jump back into the book and start all over again. Only, the cat didn’t want to leave this place.

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    Rating: 5.1/10 (18 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by OldRecord21.


  5. Mystery

    January 22, 2015 by ABD Quark

    And God said, Let there be light.

    “Then what happened?”

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    Rating: 5.8/10 (13 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by ABD Quark.


  6. Whispers

    October 21, 2013 by Steve Karmazenuk

    I broke into the old building’s basement to get out of the cold in and rain; a voice in the dark whispered “Get out.”

    And I hissed back, “Make me.”

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    Rating: 7.1/10 (35 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Steve Karmazenuk.


  7. Hard Target

    October 13, 2013 by Steve Karmazenuk

    They gave me the wrong package when I left the cleaners.

    I only realized after I’d opened it up to find my picture and a hit sheet with my name and home address.

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    Rating: 5.8/10 (20 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Steve Karmazenuk.


  8. Livin’ La Vida

    October 12, 2013 by Steve Karmazenuk

    It isn’t so much that I always wake up with a hangover and blacked out from a hard night of drinks and drugs that bothers me.

    It’s that I always wake up.

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    Rating: 6.0/10 (21 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Steve Karmazenuk.


  9. Mindhostservices.com

    September 23, 2013 by Steve Karmazenuk

    The only thing that you’re aware of are these words in your field of vision; this will change as soon as you’ve acclimatized.

    The upload was a success; your body died as your consciousness was transferred online.

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    Rating: 8.4/10 (19 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Steve Karmazenuk.


  10. September 22, 2013 by Steve Karmazenuk

    I tried to sell my soul to the Devil once.

    He told my my asking price was too high.

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    Rating: 6.8/10 (42 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Steve Karmazenuk.


  11. Bad Seed

    September 21, 2013 by Graham Land

    In order to stop my four-year-old son from swearing, I told him that with every curse a fluffy kitten dies. Our back garden is now littered with tiny graves, but the boy has got to learn about consequences.

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    Rating: 7.6/10 (48 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by Graham Land.


  12. ?

    June 27, 2013 by ymous

    She said, ‘No.’

    I didn’t care.

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    Rating: 4.3/10 (19 votes cast)

    This post was submitted by ymous.