Your offer of a special eight-month infatuation package with free extras such as wild sex at the start but none later and crying really late at night is quite intriguing.
Throw in a free t-shirt and some affection coupons I’ll never redeem and you got yourself a deal.
Tag: relationship
Advice
One word that will get you through any relationship problem, like, forever.
Lie.
Friend
My friend dived deeply into his girlfriend’s relationship and I hardly saw him again.
By relationship I mean “vagina”.
Silence
I tried to lie that my silence didn’t mean anything.
She saw right through me.
Scarborough Beach
I cry when I remember the walk to Scarborough Beach.
I cry for the loss.
Hungover
My time with you was much like an extended drinking session.
Sure it was good at the time but now I’m just hungover and sick.
The Drop
“You and your ethics, you can’t do it,” the Joker gurgled as he dangled over the side of the building.
“Fuck ethics,” Batman finally decided, and he let go.
Training
My training with you was just fantastic and so totally worthwhile for my future.
When I need to stay up to 3am, crying and discussing a relationship I am so going to rock at it!
Heartbreak
Yesterday morning, Mitch was all smiles at me and at everyone else at the office, as she enthusiastically told us about Rey, a new guy she met, and how gentleman he is despite the fact that their first date was still later that evening.
Today, I saw her avoiding me and she sobs whenever someone mentions the name Rey, which incidentally has the same name as mine.
Playlist
Hi, it’s so nice to meet you!
Just to speed this up – I totally judge people by their iTunes playlist.
Contribute
Sometimes I think the only point of us being together was for me to give you a word and a little game that you’ll play with your kids.
And that will be the only thing I contribute to the world.
Ice age
Ice-ages are nothing to be afraid of because we’ve all experienced them.
Facing away from each other in bed, a million miles between you and someone who once said they loved you.
In love
The great thing about being in love is that you don’t have a lot of conversations about being in love.
That you wanted to talk about it the other night gives me pause.
Mind
You’re not the last thing on my mind.
You’re around the high three thousands.
Love
The love you missed is more painful than the love you lost.
Neither hurt as much as the love you throw away.
Art
I once had this cool piece of art with a girl on it crying and a guy saying “Don’t cry – Don’t you know I love you!”
I gave this to a girl and it totally came true ten months later.
Coupons
You gave them to me for my birthday and I expect you to honour them.
I don’t care we’re broken up – these sex coupons are still valid!
Songs
I’ve still got your songs.
I’ll never delete them.
Staying
You know she is the one for me so you’re just going to have to get over it.
I don’t care little dog – she is staying!